Amazing! Trojan has Better Theology Than Many Churches
Yesterday, in partnership with Trojan condoms, Advocates for Youth today installed a 20-foot activist billboard covered in chewed-up gum to bring attention to the terrible illustrations that Abstinence Only programs use to scare young people away from having sex. (You can read an article about it at Teen Vogue.)
If your sexuality was impacted by the "purity culture," you have probably heard someone compare a sexually active teen to "chewed gum" or "a ruined rose" or a cup that everyone has spit into. These illustrations are awful (and unbiblical). The fact that they were used on an entire generation of Christian young people is tragic.
One big thing that radical purity culture gets wrong is that it completely ignores the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm talking about the gospel that assures us that, because of Christ, all our brokenness can be restored. This includes our sexual sin.
But one big thing our hyper-sexualized culture (including the people at Trojan) gets wrong is their basic premise that our sexual behavior doesn’t matter. They would suggest that the only impact that sex outside of a covenant marriage has on a life is the potential for disease or unwanted pregnancy. And wouldn’t you know, they sell a solution for that for about a dollar.
They ignore the fact that our sexuality is a precious thing, created by God. They neglect to inform the public that sexual activity DOES have a huge impact on our romantic relationships. Sure, it can make us feel more connected, but when the relationship ends, the damaging impact on our hearts is multiplied. The “soul ties” that are created through physical intimacy are not easily broken.
Certainly, if young people make mistakes on their way to marriage and get to the altar with some baggage, God can redeem that. But wouldn’t it be better if we could minimize the baggage and give our kids the best shot possible at building a lasting marriage relationship? One where their sexual connection is with one person for life?
So Trojan, I agree with you.
Those who have sex outside of marriage are not chewed up gum. They are not damaged goods. They are deeply loved by God and are able to see Him restore every broken part of their lives.
But make no mistake: just because a young person who has sex outside of marriage isn’t damaged goods, it doesn’t mean that what they are doing will bring good to their lives. The condoms you sell may work to protect a sexually active person from pregnancy and disease (98% of the time), but they won’t protect a heart from the damage that comes when a sexual relationship comes to an end.
God created sex and gave it to humanity as a gift. But as the creator, He gets to decide how it works. He designed it as an expression of love, a pleasure to be given, and as a means to create new life. And He designed it to be expressed in a covenant, heterosexual marriage. Anything other than that is falling short of God’s best.
Question: How were you negatively effected by being raised in the “purity culture?” Is there a better way to help our kids to wait for God’s best without using shame or guilt? (Please comment below or on Facebook.)
There’s help for parents who want to get this right.
We have created a few resources for teenage guys and girls that help parents to have critical conversations with their kids about God’s design for sex. These tools have been specifically designed to share truths with young people in a way that mom and dad can then add their perspective.
Our ground-breaking book, The Talks, has helped more than 25,000 parents equip their kids to develop a healthy view of sex and relationships.
Our innovative resource for teen boys, The Young Man’s Guide to Awesomeness, has given thousands of guys the tools they need to make wise choices about porn, girls, sex, and the direction of their lives.
Now, Meet Me in the Middle offers a God-focused perspective about 10 key issues that teen girls are facing. And it does it in a format that invites a girl’s father into the conversation.
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