5 Big Online Risks to Kids (Here's a Ton of Helpful Information)
Today is Internet Safety Day. I’m not sure who invented that holiday, but any day is a good day to check on what your kids are seeing and doing online.
Neve Spicer of We The Parents has created an amazing document on everything parents need to know. With their permission, we have excerpted one small section below on some of the “‘Risks and Safety Issues” related to our kids and their devices. Read some of what she wrote and then link to her full document below. It’s some terrific stuff!
You probably already teach your kids about “stranger danger”, right? They know not to take sweets from strangers, or accept rides in their cars.
Well, in this internet age, where we live partly online, it’s time for parents to expand “stranger danger” to protect against new online risks and safety issues.
Here’s the good news:
It’s actually pretty simple. There are a several new and vital safety principles to teach your kids, but these can then be applied across a myriad of different websites, apps, devices, and social networks.
RISK #1 - SHARING PERSONAL INFORMATION
We all need to be savvy about what we share online, and how we protect our personal information. Kids are particularly at risk from sharing too much. Here are the main risks:
Embarrassment and bullying: Psychologically, the internet fosters a sense of anonymity and detachment from reality. Online, people often say and share things they otherwise wouldn’t in “real life”. Problems arise when children share personal stories, images, or videos which they later regret. Once the data is “out there” it is almost impossible to control it and make it go away. This can lead to embarrassment, bullying, and even damaged career prospects.
Vulnerability to abuse: Children sometimes share too much personal information with predators or scammers (who may have been “phishing” for it). Profile pictures, “bios”, and “location sharing” can inadvertently reveal sensitive information. In the wrong hands, phone number, address, or current location can make a child vulnerable to abuse.
Identity theft: Children have clean credit records which makes them ideal targets for identity thieves. A recent study of 40,000 children revealed that 10% had someone else using their Social Security Number. This is a big problem and often occurs when children unwittingly share too much information online. [Source #16]
TIPS FOR STAYING SAFE
Education is key! Both you and your children need to become savvy about keeping personal information safe online.
The NSPCC (a British children’s charity) has created an excellent campaign called Share Aware. Here are some of their top tips for keeping your information safe:
• Be careful – Be wary about what you share online. Should it be shared in public?
• Profile pics – Don’t give your location away in the background.
• Usernames – Always use a nickname and not a real one.
• Privacy settings – Check them regularly.
• Location settings – Check and disable them (eg, so that apps like Snapchat don’t give your location away).
• Passwords – Make them hard, ie, more than 12 characters with capitals, numbers and special characters. Never reveal them!
• Think before you post – Don’t share anything that you wouldn’t want your mom, teachers, or friends seeing.
• Be alert to strangers – Don’t accept friend requests from strangers and if they add you, then ignore and delete them. Never share personal information like phone number or address with someone you don’t know.
• Regularly check your child’s credit reports – They are 51 times more likely to be the victim of identity theft. Regularly check their credit reports to pick it up early.
RISK #2 - ONLINE GROOMING
On the internet, it is easy to hide behind anonymity or create a false identity. Sexual predators and scammers use this to their advantage. They mislead children by presenting themselves as peers. For this reason, it is important that children understand that new friends made online may not be who they say they are. Once somebody has joined their “friends list” then this person will be included in their personal posting and other information sharing.
Groomers use social networks and online chat rooms – anywhere that people gather online. They use fake profile pictures and names to gain trust. After meeting a child on a social network, online game, or chat room, a groomer will often direct the communication onto a more private channel, eg, private messaging or email. This can then lead to phone calls and meeting up in person.
HOW TO SPOT ONLINE GROOMING
It isn’t always easy to tell if your child is being groomed. Here are some things to look for. (Some of these behaviors are common ‘everyday’ teenager behaviors, but use your instinct, especially if you notice a change.)
• Online more – Spending more time than usual on the internet
• Secretive – Being secretive about the sites they use and who they are talking to
• The “switcheroo” – Quickly switching computer screens when you pass by
• Mystery devices -Having new mobile devices that you didn’t give them
• Emotional volatility – More than usual (even for a teen!)
• Explicit words – Using sexual language that you wouldn’t expect them to know
TIPS FOR STAYING SAFE
The most powerful way to prevent grooming is to educate your child. Make sure they understand the risks and know how to stay safe online.
1. Be share aware – Don’t share personal information, eg, name, age, gender, phone number, home address, school name, or photographs, especially with strangers or new online friends.
2. Be careful about “new friends” – It is tempting to accept friend requests from strangers. Having lots of online “friends” can boost self-esteem and help children to feel popular. But beware. People may not be who they say they are, even if they’ve been chatting for several weeks and feel like friends. Only accept online friend requests from real friends they already know – or be very cautious about those met online.
3. Online meet up with a parent present – NEVER meet up (in-person) with an online “friend” unless accompanied by a parent.
4. Talk about it – Let your child know that they can share anything with you. If they feel uncomfortable about any online experience, they should immediately share it with you or another trusted adult.
5. Report it – If you believe that your child is being groomed, immediately contact the authorities, eg: www.missingkids.org/gethelpnow/cybertipline
RISK #3 - CYBERBULLYING
Traditional bullying is bad enough – it can be extremely hurtful and harmful. Cyberbullying is an extension of the same abuse but it takes on some new features and patterns when it goes online.
Furthermore, many kids now have access to mobile devices at all times. This means that cyberbullying can be constant and unrelenting. It can leave children with the feeling that there is no escape.
TYPES OF CYBERBULLYING
As parents, it’s important to be aware of the different ways that bullying can happen online. Here are some to watch out for:
• Abusive messages – Sending threatening or abusive messages via text or instant messenger.
• Embarrassing pics and videos – Creating and sharing embarrassing or demeaning images or videos.
• Trolling – Leaving menacing or mean comments on social networks, chat rooms, or online games.
• Leaving out – Intentionally excluding someone from an online group (eg, an online-gaming team, a social network group, or an instant messenger group chat).
• Hate sites – Social media profiles or groups, or entire blogs setup solely to post mean and abusive content about someone.
• Encouraging self-harm – encouraging young people to self-harm (often in chatrooms).
• Voting – Taking part in an abusive poll designed to hurt someone (eg, “Hot or Not” or “F**k or Kill”).
• Hijacking accounts – hijacking accounts or stealing online identities to embarrass someone or cause trouble using their name.
• Sexting – Sending unsolicited, sexually explicit messages.
• Sex pressure – Pressuring or coercing someone into sending sexual images or engaging in sexual conversations.
HOW TO TACKLE IT
Talk to your children about the best way to tackle cyberbullying. Here are some tips:
1. Talk about it – Speak to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, friend, or online support worker.
2. Save evidence – Save a screenshot of nasty messages. This can later be used to report the cyberbullying to school, authorities, or the social networks and apps.
3. Block and delete – Don’t reply to any nasty messages. Delete them and immediately block the sender.
4. Report it – Most apps have a reporting function which allows you to flag any abusive users and messages.
5. Be careful what you share – It’s best to be on the safe side – don’t share any personal photos or stories which could lead to embarrassment or blackmail if they fell into the wrong hands.
RISK #4 - SEXTING
Sexting is using a computer or mobile device to send sexually explicit content to someone else.
“Nudes” refers to nude or semi-nude images or videos, whereas “dirties” are sexually explicit ones.
These are often sent via text or instant messenger apps but any platform that allows messaging can be used, eg, online gaming or chat rooms.
Before we explore the negative side of sexting, it’s worth mentioning that it sometimes takes place between consenting peers and can be a natural exploration of sexual feelings (eg, flirting and trying out sexual identity).
The problem is that sexting sometimes involves pressure or coercion from one side. Furthermore, even if it starts out consensually, it can still have harmful consequences for young people.
THE RISKS OF SEXTING
• No control over sharing – Once sent, images and videos cannot be withdrawn. What happens next cannot be controlled. They may be seen and shared in unwanted ways.
• Blackmail and bullying – Sexually explicit images can be used to bully or blackmail the sender. This may happen if an opportunistic bully seizes the online pictures. It can also occur if a relationship turns sour. Finally, criminals use them to blackmail their victim (eg, into giving money).
• Pressure – Children can be pressured into sexting by their peers. It can be hard to refuse, especially if the request is persistent. Children need to understand that this is a form of sexual harassment.
• Legal issues – Sharing sexual photos between consenting adults is not illegal, but when it involves minors then sexual exploitation or child pornography laws can come into play. This can be true even if the images or videos are shared between children of the same age.
• Psychological distress – If sexual or nude images get out and are shared around, this can lead to serious emotional distress.
• Can attract sexual predators – If images or videos are shared publicly, they can draw unwanted attention from sexual groomers who know how to find them and could use them to initiate contact.
HOW TO TACKLE IT
The main way to keep children and young people safe is to discuss sexting with them in a supportive and open way.
1. Talk about it in advance – Don’t wait for an issue to arise. It’s important to bring up the conversation yourself. Be sensitive. Don’t accuse them but rather present the risks and issues. We know, discussing sexual topics with our kids can sometimes feel awkward, but don’t avoid it! Find a way that works for you and your child. Here are some approaches for getting this conversation going (NSPCC).
2. Explain the risks and issues – It is important that they understand the dangers and legal issues around sexting. Even if they trust someone now, the breakdown of a relationship can change everything. Once they share something online, even if it feels private, they can’t know whether it will come out and be shared in public in the future.
3. The “Grandma” Rule – If they would be uncomfortable showing something to Grandma, then they probably shouldn’t be posting it.
4. Be supportive – Try to be someone that your children feel safe to talk to. Let them know that you are there to support them in a non-judgmental way. If they feel uncomfortable talking to you, it’s important they have another trusted adult they can turn to. Let them know where they can get support online.
RISK #5 - INAPPROPRIATE AND HARMFUL CONTENT
There is plenty of disturbing content on the internet. This can be stumbled across accidentally by small children, or it can be explored intentionally by inquisitive young minds. Kids being exposed to inappropriate content is the top internet safety concern for 62% of parents. [Source #20]
If children are exposed to extreme content, they may be shocked, confused, or psychologically distressed. Examples of inappropriate and potentially harmful content are pornography, violence, and hate.
There is also the issue of fake news and opinions being presented as facts. This area is more nuanced and requires ongoing talks and education. We want our children to become astute, healthily skeptical, and ready to do their own research to verify the truth or falsehood of a given story or statement.
TYPES OF EXTREME CONTENT
Here are just a few different types of inappropriate, mature, or harmful content that can be found (intentionally or accidentally) on the internet:
• Pornography
• Hate, bigotry, and racism
• Death and gore
• Violence and cruelty
• Sites that encourage crime, terrorism, eating disorders, and self-harm
HOW TO TACKLE IT
There are three main approaches to safeguarding your children from harmful content:
• Explore their online world – Go online with your children so you get a feel for how they use the internet. Of course, you won’t be privy to it all, but you will become savvy to some of the ‘internet culture’ of their generation.
• Discuss and educate – Discuss the issues and dangers with your kids. Keep it age appropriate. You’ll never be able to fully control their internet usage, so it’s best to empower them through education to be discerning and wise online citizens.
• Parental controls – Parental controls are restrictions and filters that you set up on mobile devices and home internet technology. They can also be implemented within games and apps. They block inappropriate content thus helping to safeguard your children. Be aware, though, that they are never 100% perfect and ought not to be a substitute for educating your children.
• Supervise – Keep computers in family rooms, not private bedrooms. This way you can stay involved in their internet usage.
Would you like to read the entire Internet Safety 101: The Ultimate Guide for Parents?
The document is full of links, videos, and other resources. It includes a guide to apps, steps you can take, a list of recommended parental controls, and more. It’s got all the information that intentional parents like you need.
Find it on the “We the Parents” website HERE.
