A Royal Scandal? Not Really.

It’s nothing short of an international crisis!

Royal-watchers who saw the recent Oprah interview are anxiously watching the news to see what in the world will happen next in Harry and Meghan’s dis-association with the royal family. About a year ago, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex made the decision to “step back from their roles as senior members of the royal family.” More recently, they articulated “why.”

Beyond all the details they shared with Oprah, I would suggest that (in spite of their royal responsibilities) Harry and Meghan are simply a new family trying to do what is best for themselves. And that’s okay.

There is simple argument to be made that they are doing exactly what Genesis 2:24 prescribes for any married couple. But first, let’s consider a little context. Here’s what Wendy Michaels wrote:

If you remove the royal piece of the puzzle and look at Prince Harry as a husband and father, it’s a bit more of a relatable situation. His close friend JJ Chalmers shared some insight into how Prince Harry has felt since he and Markle got married and had their first child, explaining that Harry wants to “protect his family.”

During an appearance on The One Show on Jan. 10, Chalmers, who met Harry when they were both serving in the military, shared: “He’s less the captain in the army that I used to know, and he’s more the father — and when I see him, that’s the first thing that comes up.”

He continued, defending the Sussexes’ decision to leave royal life, noting: “And I think the decision that he has made, at the forefront of that is to protect his family, because that’s the number one rule is to be a father and to be a husband.”

Chalmers added: “Any husband wants to protect their wife and any father wants to protect their children.”

Genesis 2:24 Outlines a Principle That Many Couples Neglect

Over the past decade, we have coached more than 500 engaged couples through our Marriage Prep Workshops. One key principle we teach is that your new family (which begins the minute you marry) takes the priority over any other family relationship. This truth is rooted in Genesis 2:24:

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

There are at least 3 practical applications of this passage. They are things that every young couple must embrace as the new reality of their lives:

First, “leaving father and mother” suggests that once you marry, the affairs and concerns of your parents are no longer your problem. Certainly, you should still honor your parents, but being compliant to their wants and desires is no longer an issue. (Every new mother-in-law needs to remember this.) We tell young married guys that if there is ever a conflict between your mother and your wife, you need to side with your wife. Every time. If Harry is doing this, he deserves our respect.

Secondly, being “joined to his wife” means that you fundamentally shift your priorities from your parents to your spouse. If Harry’s friend JJ Chalmers’ perspective is right (and we have no reason to doubt it isn’t), then Harry is doing exactly what he needs to do. He is exercising a single-minded focus on putting his new family first. Even as a royal with certain responsibilities, he should do so without apologizing. Familiy>Obligation.

Finally, “one flesh” implies that couples must work together as one entity. They must prayerfully consider the choices they will make and then bring that united front to the rest of the world, including their respective families. One tip though: it’s usually best if each person brings this united front to his or her family and not put their spouse in the middle of it. If I were coaching Harry, I would suggest that he deal with his grandmother and that Meghan should be protected from that drama. (And, my, what drama that must be.)

A Good Lesson for the Rest of Us

Make no mistake: living out this principle of “leaving and cleaving” may cause tension in our families (like during the holidays, for example), but it sure beats the alternative: a husband or wife who doesn’t feel safe and honored because their spouse prioritizes the needs of their parents over the marriage. The truths found in Genesis 2:24 cannot be ignored. They are fundamental to a family’s well-being.

Harry and Meghan’s interview with Oprah gave us new insights into their feelings about their association with the royal family. But at the end of the day, they have every right to do what they are doing. It is good and even biblical. They are doing exactly what God desires for every married couple.

So follow the news or watch Entertainment Tonight or scan your Twitter feed for the latest press release to come from Buckingham with all the juicy details, but it’s truly none of our business. Even though they are in the public eye, Harry and Meghan are still just a young married couple with a new child and they can do whatever they want with their lives.

The queen is probably going to disagree about how things transpired or what was said and her grandchildren’s obligation to duty. (I’ve watched enough episodes of The Crown to be an expert on this.) Unfortunately for her, she’s going to have to deal with it, just like every other parent or grandparent has to deal with the decisions of their married adult children.

In the meantime, “God save the queen.”